Interpersonal Communication is an exchange of sensitive information between two individuals. It’s also an important area of study which seeks to learn about how we use non-verbal and verbal cues to achieve a variety of social and personal goals. To facilitate this exchange, we frequently utilize more than one kind of communication. Yet how do we know when we’re communicating properly? How do we ensure that the information we’re exchanging is understood?
One way of measuring an individual’s ability to effectively communicate is to look at how they behave in their interactions with others. By thinking about the main ideas in their conversations we can often gauge their competence. However, many researchers are now looking at interpersonal communication through the lenses of cognitive psychology and the study of relational dialectics theory. Below we will discuss the benefits and implications of this new view of communication and how it can help us improve our communication and social relationships.
The main idea behind the theories of interpersonal communication and cognitive processes is that we use a variety of non-verbal and verbal cues to communicate. The theory is that we all use slightly different ways of communicating, however all of these are translated into meanings by the sub-conscious mind. This is why there are subtle distinctions in speech across languages such as English and Spanish. Some words, for example, are used to refer to different concepts. Each word has its own unique meaning which can only be understood if the communication has been properly structured according to the individual’s cultural and linguistic heritage.
How does this relate to interpersonal communication? There are several important points that take place during interactions. Firstly, information that is exchanged is processed through our verbal and non-verbal responses. Processing takes place in our minds before the message is actually sent. This means that we actually have a copy of every thought that occurs during the communication process in our heads. When we then go out into the world, these thoughts are translated into actions that take place on the physical level.
A major part of this process is called encoding. Encoding occurs when an individual gives out cues that mean something specific but are not directly stated. For instance, when I say “you’re fired”, my body language will react as I turn my head to the side and my eyes move to the front and back of my head. It may seem like I’m not saying anything but my body language and facial expressions tell me that I am saying this. This is of course very subtle and there may not be any obvious reasons for my actions. However, we know that when I say “you’re fired” I give myself cues through my facial expressions and body language that I’m saying this.
Another important point about our understanding of interpersonal communication is that it can often depend on the context in which we are speaking. For instance, when I talk to my boss, I have very specific instructions which I am giving her in a very controlled environment. If I were talking to my best friend, my tone, inflection, and vocabulary would be more relaxed. The key to successful verbal communication takes place when we are communicating with a person whose response to our instructions is a product of their own internalized understanding of the situation.
In my previous post, The Roles of Language in Interpersonal Communication, I described how verbal cues can actually serve to communicate the non-verbal information we need to communicate a message. However, non-verbal communication is not the only way we get our meaning across with another human being. In fact, a great deal of our satisfaction with another comes from the non-verbal information we share with them in our speech and body language. Interpersonal verbal communications take place in two areas I will describe shortly.
In short, it is essential to know how to communicate with each other through our facial expressions, body language, and voice. When we improve communication through our use of our facial expressions and our body language, it allows us to communicate with ease and confidence with one another. When we improve our communication through our use of our voice, we can actually listen to one another with greater insight into the other’s true feelings and motives.